Reflections Of Getting Robbed
Currently, I have just finished the process of buying back all of my possessions. Just last month, Achilles’ car was broken into while we were parked outside on Kinzie to see the Slow Pulp show. You can listen to my ramblings on the subject here.
I had my bag stolen, which contained various items of value as I had just arrived shortly after finishing up at work. I count my blessings, as material possessions are able to be replaced. The mental image, however, of Achilles finding a brick in his child's bassinet, is now his cross to bear . . . At first, I saw this situation as the absence of God, or God’s Wrath. Today, I am able to view this situation as a new beginning, making the possibilities clear to me by a reverse kind of exposition.
Looking back at this moment in my life, I realize that this incident is what allowed myself the room for self-reinvention; I now stand before you as a free man. I read a passage by Rachel Cusk recently that described my thoughts exactly, as she wrote of her mugging: “I saw myself as a shape, an outline, with all the detail filled in around it while the shape itself remained blank. Yet this shape, even while it’s content remained unknown, gave me for the first time since the incident a sense of who I now was.”
Jana Sojka: Fragments, Relief (2024)
These past two years and a half I have been living in peace, which is to say, denial. Sure, a season of tea and somatic shaking I have heard alleviates these feelings to an extent, but no results concrete enough have come from either of these — yet. My heart is holding a brick that it needs to put down. For so long now I have been totally engrossed in my secret world.
April SUCKED. But it sucked in the type of way that provided me with valuable life lessons while in doing so. That being said, this spring has been so mystical and magical, still. I feel like I have experienced a glitch that has been one of the greatest things to have ever happen to me. I have no cosmic debt. My tongue is no longer lying, backbiting, indiscreet, flattering, overused, quarrelsome, rash, proud, or silent. As spring is the time of rebirth, I can now say thusly: I have been reborn!